Gender disappointment is REAL…I am the first to admit that I HAD gender disappointment.
Justin and I had our little girl, she was a joy, more than we could’ve ever asked for. She was a perfect girl. I LOVED dressing her up like a little doll, put bows in her hair, play baby dolls with her. I had saved all of her clothes and accessories, ready for the future Little Miss Padgett to come.
We found out we were expecting our second baby Padgett and at an extra ultra sound technician asked “do you want to know the sex?” We said with joy, “yes!” I KNEW it was another girl. I had all of the “signs” that it was a girl and it felt much like my first pregnancy. I was sick all of the time, lost a lot of weight, super tired, etc. – it was a girl for sure…
Well, the tech changed my life at 15 weeks pregnant when she announced, “It’s a boy!” Justin was fist-pumping and ecstatic. I on the other hand felt disappointed instantly. Why was I feeling this way? I already had my little girl, every girls dream right? I felt guilty and tried to hide my feelings, but they were real.
My reasons for this feeling came from a few different things:
Justin and I had talked about how many children we would have. We sort of agreed that if the next (after our first little girl) was another girl, we would then have another, but if it was a boy, we would most likely be a family of 4. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE kids. I have always dreamed of the day when I would become a mom. I wanted a lot of kids, I use to say 5. Justin on the other hand likes kids and like stated previously, would be more than thrilled to be a family of 4. I was disappointed that our 2nd was a boy due to the fact that it would be harder for me to protest for that 3rd child.
I wanted to reuse all of Emersyn’s (my first little girl) clothes. I went over board and bought Emersyn a ton of clothes. I had stored all of her clothes in bins nicely and neatly thinking that one day I would get to use them again, but my hopes and dreams were crushed when the tech announced to me that our second was a boy. He would not be able to dressed up in the cute dresses, pinks, purples and skirts that I had stored so nicely away. I would now have to figure out what to buy, spend more money on clothes and basically start from scratch.
I was outright SCARED as heck to have a boy! I only have sisters and nieces, absolutely NO boys! I had experience with dolls, dresses, bows, and dance class. I had no idea what to dress baby boys in. Boys have “parts” that I don’t have. Potty training, sports, “playing with themselves”- all of these things terrify me!
My feelings have changed…
So good news, my feelings have changed! About a month after “the news” I started getting extra excited about having a boy. I was excited about the adventure and the newness, even if I didn’t know EVERYTHING or really ANYTHING about raising a boy, I was excited.
I can proudly say that being a mommy to a boy is AMAZING. It is different than raising a girl, I don’t get to put bows in his hair, but I do get to dress him up. I have so much fun dressing him like a little man, almost as much fun as I have dressing my little girl up in dresses and bows.
My point is, it is OKAY to feel disappointed about the gender of your baby at first. Don’t feel guilty, the feeling will pass and you will love the baby just the same if it is a boy or girl.
As for potty training and touching himself when he gets older, that still TERRIFIES ME!
Thanks for stopping by! More to come about raising my little man to come.
What were your feelings when you found out what you were having? Was your spouse disappointed?