I taught in a great school for a few years, although I LOVED teaching, I also was very envious of the lavish life styles that a majority of the mothers of the students who I taught had. They would come in to drop off their children, hang around the school, help out in the classroom at the drop of a hat, go out with friends for lunch dates, go work out, head home for a nap, basically have time to do whatever they wanted to do, while I was busy with their children, not spending time with my own baby. I imagined a low stress, immaculate home, quality time spent with family.
Last year, I was working full-time as a teacher with a 45 minute commute, pregnant, raising a bubbly one-year-old, with all of the everyday chores and tasks, and on top of all of that, I was taking online college courses, I was exhausted! I would get home from work, make dinner, have bath time, go to bed, just to all wake up and do it all over the next day. I was not happy with all of these pieces put together, I wanted a change and with another baby on the way, I knew my life was about to get even busier!
My husband and I talked a lot about what we could do in order to make things easier and life more enjoyable. We didn’t have an answer right away, and for me that was hard. I am the type of person who wants answers now, I am not patient, but my husband promised that we would figure it out (he’s wonderful!) To make a long story short, my husband and I moved to another area where he could progress in his job more rapidly and I left the classroom to stay at home with our two kids.
Wow was I wrong about the luxuries of being a stay-at-home mom! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy staying at home and being with my kids, but the “leisure” time, housework, etc. does not seem to get done any faster due to me staying at home as I once thought. At first, I was feeling extremely stressed because of this misconception of moms who stayed at home for the following reasons:
- I thought that the house needed to be cleaned at all times and dinner had to be homemade and on the table by 5:00 PM.
- I thought that I needed to have a planned activity for my kids at all times, unrealistic!
- I thought that I was a bad mom for wanting any time spent away from them, again what a misconception.
- I worried about all of these misconceptions of a stay-at-home mom and what others thought of me, why do I care?
After I got past all of these misconceptions and decided that I am doing this for me, my kids, my family, I got over all of these stressors. I decided that the house does not have to be clean every day that is not how I want to live my life. I clean as needed and try to get dishes done, beds made and things picked up at the end/beginning of each day, but do not stress about it being perfect every day. I plan activities for my kids, but just spending time with them makes them just as happy! I am not a bad mom for wanting to do adult things or being away from them every now and then, I would go insane if I didn’t get some time like this. Again, who cares what others think, I am happy, my kids are happy, and my husband is happy, it’s our lives not theirs!
So, staying at home is for me right now. Staying at home makes me happy. I had to work at it and I am still working at it. I am not perfect, but I am feelin’ lucky!